Defining Moments

"Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm."

.... Winston Churchill

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."

.... Albert Schweitzer

"If he blocks this shot, I'm taking my ball and going home!"

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” 

....  Denis Waitley

“I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.” .... Herbert Bayard Swope

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” .... Michael Jordan

I cannot remember where I first heard this quote but I believe it is true. "Competitive athletics do not build character they reveal it!" This does not just apply to the players under your direction. Success reveals your character as does failure. How you handle confrontations? Do you become defensive and strike back when confronted? With social media, we now have an additional avenue of communication some will use to discredit you. Unfortunately, often in our culture we strike back and become defensive when others are critical of our methods. It doesn't take a great deal of courage to confront someone by way of social media. This may sound trite

but I believe the coach, at times, must be the adult in the room. I tried to listen and consider what was said and I tried very much not to add fuel to the confrontation. Some people will be so irrational, you might as well save

your breathe. You can disagree without being disagreeable. I do believe

you need to document confrontations, and when necessary, share them with the appropriate people such as the lead coach and athletic director.

Defining moments are not about winning a conference title or taking a team to the state tournament. Defining moments are most often much less spectacular. They come when your character is tested. They come when you are confronted by an angry parent. They come when you "lose it" and

blow up at an official or a player. They also come when you admit you were wrong and apologize. They come when you accept the blame for a poor team performance or you refuse to blame anyone else for not performing well. They also can come when you are experiencing success. Someone much wiser than me said, "the trouble with being in the spotlight is it tends to blind you." You start to believe you are more important than you really are. The game will not allow you to be a "poser." It will expose your true character. Not all of it will be pretty. Not all of it will put you in the best light,

but if you use your defining moments as learning experiences, you will become a better person.

Many years ago I had my own personal crisis. I was teaching and coaching.

I was also in the middle of a Master's Program. We had a serious problem with the team and I ended up dismissing a member of the team. My Dad

passed away and their were other personal issues I was dealing with. One

day during that period of time, I sat down at my computer and constructed

my letter of resignation as basketball coach. That letter was never printed

or submitted. I survived the crisis and was fortunate enough to be blessed

with many more years of doing something I felt I was called to do. I kept that

letter on file for many years as a reminder of the difficult time my family went through. Was it a defining moment for me? Maybe, but life tends to give us plenty of opportunities to be defined.