who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. (James Elliott)
A Ball .... A Boy .... A Dream
You may, or may not, know who James Elliott was. He was a missionary who was killed by a group of people he was serving. The level of sacrifice and dedication to what he believe in is reflected in this quote. I have adopted this quote a long time ago. One of my greatest rewards in coaching was to have be associated with so many outstanding young men. They don't always realize how much better they have made this coach's life.
This is a no brainer. I don't know anyone who is coaching high school basketball for the money. If researchers are correct, the high school coach is next to the player's parents the most influential person in their lives. This is flattering but also very sobering. A coach has a great responsibility. As a coach, you can build up or tear down? I have done both. I can only hope I have built up more than I have torn down.
My experiences suggest it is more important and more challenging than ever to be a high school basketball coach. Less stability in many homes, interference from parents and cultural pressures, in my opinion, are contributing factors in making high school coaching more difficult than ever before. You may feel more and more is being asked of you. You are probably right. Every once in a while, ask yourself if you had a son would you want him to be coached by you? Nobody is perfect. Yes, you will have critics who believe you should be. Some how you need to find some pressure relief
valves you can open to decompress. I believe coaching burnout is real. In
our state you can now actively coach your players for almost two months of the summer. Your players now can, not only receive coaching from you during the summer, but they also have AAU type opportunities as well. Like anything else in life, more opportunities have the potential for good and the potential for bad. I can give you many reasons why you should not coach.
One of the refrains I hear is why can't we find anyone who wants to coach?
I sometimes respond, rather sarcastically, that yes I don't understand why
anyone wouldn't want to coach. Where else do you work such long hours, for low pay, and get to deal with disgruntled adults? I understand why many
decide coaching is not for them. I also believe basketball and other extra curricular activities provide learning experiences that a child will never experience in a classroom. Do you want a good classroom teacher for your
child? Of course you do! Do you want the best possible person as a coach
for your child?
I can only speak from my experiences. Caring high school coaches are needed. Young people need positive role models. Now notice I said positive (not perfect) role models. Ask yourself, and if you have enough courage ask your graduating seniors, if being a part of your program was a positive experience for them? (Don't expect 100% approval.)
Now for the really BIG question. Who are you doing this for? We all have egos. We all enjoy the attention gained from being successful. Personally, I had a pivotal moment many years ago. One morning, after losing a game the night before, I complained to my wife about how unfair life was. How hard I worked and how unfair it was that my opponent always had more talent than I had to work with! Before I left for school, and after listening to my pathetic rant, my wife only asked me one question. She said, "So who are you doing this (coaching) for?" I being a good stubborn male ignored her question and left the house. About halfway to school, I realized she was right (as usual) and I was a fraud. I felt like a hypocrite. Here I was preaching team to our players, and feeling sorry for only one (me).
I can't answer the big question for you. You have to answer that for yourself.
For me personally, it was a turning point. It is a question I believe you need to answer so .... who are you doing this for?
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