The title for this post is greatly influenced by a YouTube video clip I have seen by Ryan Leak called "Chasing Failure." Ryan is the author of a book entitled, "Chasing Failure." I must be completely transparent. I have NOT read the book but I have read and listened to information about the book. In summation, it (the book) challenges the reader to not fear failure but use it to make us more wiling to take on challenges in our lives.
When you coach, some losses are harder to accept than others. I could quote to you a number of somewhat trite says about failure. You know like ... failure is never final. All these sayings seem worthwhile to consider until the failure becomes personal. This is my opinion. We often learn more from failure than we do from success. Ifyou believe that to be true, why is it true?
Team failure is often viewed much differently than an individual failure. Our culture does not recognize failure other than to suggest failure is something that should be avoided. If we take a few minutes of reflection, we usually look at failure as meaning "we just aren't good enough." Instead of using it as a learning tool. One of the greatest learning opportunity comes from our failure. Far to often, in my opinion, we want to assign responsibility for failure to others. The coach, officials, other players commonly are labeled as being at least partial responsible for an individual's failure.
Accountability is viewed with suspicion. "It's not my fault." Seems like a rallying cry. Somehow failure threatens us. Think about this rationally. Failure is not the biggest menace we face but using failure as a learning experience to grow from may well be. Most people have little difficult in dealing with success but handling failure is another matter.
In looking back at my years of coaching/teaching, I wish I would have handled losing as an event rather than a judgement. Failure isn't fatal just as success is not a validation of your superiority. Failure in any area should not threaten our self worth. Al McGuire was a long time college coach at Marquette. He is credited for saying the only time winning is important is in surgery and war.
We do a disservice when we hand out trophies to everyone. When we rush in and try to console those who have tried, but failed, by suggesting it was someone else's fault. For the vast majority of us, we will experience a fair amount of failure. Isn't it our responsibility as teachers, coaches, and parents to help those under our authority to use winning (success) and losing (failure) as opportunities for growth?
In a few months, will you remember who won the state title? Will you remember who finished second?
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