The "Be Lame" Game

This has become another "sport" in our culture.

The blame game or as Pastor Rick Warren calls it the "be lame" game is

alive and thriving in our society. It is good for me to go on some sites and read the responses of the fans after "their" team loses. I never knew you could own a team? Very predictable are the majority of the responses: "Well we were out coached." "I don't understand why he/she substitutes the way they do?" "Why didn't he/she call a timeout when the game was on the line?" On and on it goes. In a school district I resigned from, and never looked back, I was told by a reliable source that one of the school board members (and of course I had his son on the team) had said that the talent level at the school was the same every year the only thing that was different was the coaching! Now remember, ignorance is the only exact science. At least some of the people in the stands, are there to judge you, and afix the blame to the officials, players/coaches. Evidently, for some reason, we feel

better if we can assign the blame for outcomes we have little to no control

over but do not want to be held responsible for ourselves.

Why do I address this topic? Because many of us as coaches are deep down inside people pleasers. I was and it negatively impacted my mental health.

If you think, or even want everyone to approve of you and your actions as a

coach, you are irrational. In my belief system, there has been only one perfect person to have every existed and if you have the same belief system you know how that turned out! Somehow you have to deal with the false belief that everyone is going to like you and you will escape criticism. You

are human and you will make mistakes. Just like you tell your players, admit them, learn from them, and move on from them.

Coaching can be a lonely adventure.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, social media has empowered some degree of boldness in our critics. It is much easier and less confrontational to simply send an email, or text to voice your displeasure with the coach of your local team. One of the best high school coaches I know told me a story of receiving a text from an angry parent on his way home from the second game of the season. Of course it was related to playing time. I am not trying to defend the coach but we in the coaching profession must realize we are in a much more critical environment than ever before. My regret is I did not have a "thicker skin". It caused me lack of sleep and took away some of the joy of doing something I loved to do. Every year a significant number of people resign their coaching positions. Yes, there are a wide variety of reasons for why a person resigns from his coaching position but I have no doubt many feel it isn't worth dealing with critical people. Good coaches give up a great deal of time and attention to their family and friends to coach. It is stressful and demanding. The truth be known many of the critics enjoy the safety of being in the stands and not actually having to do the job of a coach. Second guessers are seldom wrong!